Do not pass go, do not collect £200. *TW: Abuse*
by PrettyPsychoshy
Do go home and resolve to be a decent human being.
Okay, so over the next few posts I’m going to talk about various forms of emotional abuse.
Bullying
Let’s start first by highlighting the fact that bullying in schools and workplaces and on the street is emotional abuse, and can sometimes be physical abuse too. It’s fairly widely accepted and ignored though, and then people wonder why the mental illness rates are so high these days.
I left school a few years ago, and kids will skip school, develop anxiety and/or depression, self harm, etc. Why? Because they’ll be isolated, called names, gaslighted, emotionally manipulated, insulted, harrassed and discriminated against on a daily basis. School is basically this giant abuse factory, barely regulated by adults and certainly not touched by the law.
So kids are being abused for at least 16 years of their life. I don’t know anybody who wasn’t bullied at school and was happy there. The bullies were victims to peer pressure and emotional manipulation by their friends, and often came from chaotic backgrounds. The only thing frowned upon is sexual assault/abuse. That’s about it.
Because the developing brain is being taught and conditioned to withstand such damage, people are left feeling worthless, low self-esteem, depressed and too anxious to deal with social situations. People are left feeling hopeless, isolated. They can’t speak to their parents about it, because people tend to be like, “oh, kids will be kids.” and what can the parents do? Tell the school? The school says to the children, “don’t do it again” and that’s it.
The excuse of “they’re kids” or “people are just like that” is categorically not helpful. It encourages complacency and teaches that it’s accepted to act that way, and for the victims, that it’s perfectly normal to be treated like that. People are told, “If you try to fit in, you won’t be bullied.” No. This idea abolishes individualism and forces people to go against their wishes and conform to society. It teaches us to be mindless, submissive slaves. It does not dissuade people from being abusive. It teaches people to deal with it. I’m going to repeat myself and say this is not okay. It is the antithesis of awesomeness, and we all want to be awesome, right?
This mindset is seen throughout society all over the place. Rather than teaching “don’t rape” we are taught “How to avoid being raped”. I was playing a game the other day and somebody was being an asshat, and we were taught “just ignore it and move on” by the admins of the game, rather than teaching him not to do that.
We need to be mindful of what we’re being taught, and we need to take a stand against this.
It’s so very not right, and I’m amazed something hasn’t been done about it sooner.
Perhaps start a very public campaign informing people that bullying is emotional abuse and therefore illegal, and they can report it to the police. It’s very much not okay! The “anti-bullying” campaigns do absolutely nothing. They don’t tell people how bad it really is.
Let me know in comments your suggestions for solutions.
Kaitie.x
You’re right. The bully does need to be taught not to bully. Bullies often lack empathy because they can’t read facial expressions and understand emotions. David Goleman has some suggestions in his book Emotional Intelligence for direct teaching of social-emotional skills. Then too you can’t avoid a bully by fitting in. There is nothing wrong with being assertive. Here are some anti-bullying activities. http://www.teachpeacenow.org/bullying.html